Weekly Humor: Humor from the military
Having spend a number of years serving my country these bits of humor really made me laugh, I trust it will do the same for you.
How intelligent is Military Intelligence?
"A slipping gear could let your grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
"Aim towards the Enemy." - printed on Rocket Launcher
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine Corps
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." David Hackworth
"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power to get you to the scene of the crash."
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum." - Jon McBride, astronaut
"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."