Humor: Virus Alert (Not!)

Like me, many of you may be receiving endless virus warning via email. some of them true, some of them not.Here is one of the lighthearted kind.

If you receive an email entitled "Bad times," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

It will drink all your beer.

It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.

It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,

causing it to smell like dill pickles.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying

to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

These are just a few signs of infection.


PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!