Friday, September 26, 2008

Weekly Humor: Golden Oldies

There are few things more entertaining then hearing jokes and having giggles with our gran parents. These were not collected from such an occasion but may as well be. Thank you to Laura Bening for sending these on to me on a regular basis.

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot
in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I
getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and
see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up
the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table listening
to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope
I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden
table for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and
help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy,
isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say, "Supersex."

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for
a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited
playing cards a few times each week. One day, they were
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now
don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long
time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and
thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your
name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three
minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she
said, "How soon do you need to know?"

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently
warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's
a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be

"What!!!!!!!!" exclaimed Herman, "It's not just one car.
It's hundreds of them!"

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