Weekly humor - Sugested Medication

Sugested Medication

With the marketing of prescription medications for everything from anxiety to sexual dysfunction, it was only a matter of time before some humorist came up with suggestions for drugs the big pharmaceutical companies haven't thought of yet. Linda Brent sent me these some time ago - thanks Linda, please keep them coming. D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to heck for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Pill that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of super big hair, ultra high heels, country music and jacked up pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T!
A spray carried in a purse or pocket to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.

N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.