Weekly Humor: Can you guess the sex?

Female or Male?
Often other languages refers to objects as being either female or male. The ideas that follow here are mostly from my local newspaper who recently asked readers to suggest the sex of certain objects. See if you can guess!

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it.and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SHOE: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.